Limerence vs. Intuition: How to Tell the Difference in Love

Let’s talk about something I always see, not just with clients, but in my own past experiences too: limerence versus intuition. If you’ve ever met someone and immediately felt like they were the one, only to end up spiraling in obsessive thoughts, confusion, or even heartbreak… this one’s for you.

What is Limerence?

Limerence is a psychological state of intense obsession and emotional dependency, especially when it comes to romantic attraction. It’s when you meet someone new, and after just a few days (or sometimes hours), your brain kicks into overdrive:

• You start imagining your future together.

• You're mentally decorating the home you’ll share.

• You’re replaying every text, analyzing their tone, timing, and emojis.

• You feel euphoric highs followed by anxious lows, depending on how much attention they give you.

Sound familiar? That’s not intuition. That’s chemistry mixed with fantasy, and it can be very convincing.

What is Intuition?

Intuition is your internal guidance system, the quiet knowing, the subtle nudges, the gut feelings that often don’t make sense logically but always turn out to be right.

Where limerence is loud, chaotic, and emotionally charged, intuition is calm, clear, and grounded. It’s the difference between your mind spinning out with “what ifs” versus your body softly whispering “this feels right” or “something’s off.”

Limerence Feeds Fantasy. Intuition Grounds You in Truth.

The biggest difference? Limerence pulls you out of reality. Intuition anchors you in it.

When you’re in limerence, you're creating a fantasy version of the relationship. You’re emotionally attaching to potential rather than what’s actually happening in the present. You ignore red flags because your brain is so busy writing a love story.

On the flip side, when you're tuned into your intuition, you're able to observe the situation. You feel the connection, yes, but you’re also attuned to what your body is telling you. You notice when something feels off.

You’re aware when their actions don’t match their words. You don’t bypass your needs or standards for the sake of a “feeling.”

Here’s a quick way to spot the difference:

Limerence	Intuition
Obsessive thoughts and fantasies	Subtle, grounded knowing
High highs and low lows	Steady and neutral in tone
Future-based fixation	Present-moment awareness
Ignores red flags	Acknowledges red flags
Craves validation	Trusts inner truth
Often feels addictive	Feels calm and wise

Why This Matters

Limerence isn’t “bad,” but it can be dangerous when you mistake it for intuition. Many people get stuck in toxic patterns because they confuse emotional intensity with spiritual alignment.

Just because you feel deeply drawn to someone doesn’t mean they’re meant for you, or healthy for you.

In fact, limerence often shows up when we’re disconnected from ourselves. It thrives in fantasy. But your intuition? It thrives in connection to your body, your truth, and your higher self.

Final Thoughts

Before you fall head over heels, pause. Ask yourself:

• Am I grounded in reality, or am I projecting a fantasy?

• Is this connection calm and clear, or chaotic and consuming?

• What is my body telling me, beyond the butterflies?

Learning to discern between limerence and intuition is one of the most powerful things you can do, not just in dating, but in every area of your life. Because when you trust your intuition, you stop chasing what isn’t real… and start allowing in what’s truly aligned.